PeeMonster's Circle of Hell

Memento Tea
Feb 4, 2019
6 min read

Welcome to the new "Artist's Circle Of Hell" editorial: a journey through the eyes and thoughts of magnificent Dark Artists.

Today we are delightful to talk with PeeMonster.

PeeMonster is an endospiritual artist residing in the SF Bay Area, California.

She draw to communicate when can’t find the words. Her art is a means of processing everything within and without her own perception. It's a translation of what she feel, think, see, from her heart to the outside world. PeeMonster inspired by everything, and choose to live her life surrounded by love. She like to feel the universe move from under the skin.

PeeMonster's considerations: "Sometimes you feel like a dream is a release and sanctuary from what we perceive to be real. In real, you’re at the mercy of silly customs, culture, and society. In your dreams you’re at the mercy of every conscious and sub-conscious thought or idea that has ever entered the circuits of your brain through any and every means possible... We’re truely free in our dreams and that’s why we don’t believe it’s real."

Enjoy the interview!

First circle - Limbo

How old is your soul? Do you have an inner child?

I kind of feel like my inner child is a fierce 12 year old... Smart, has seen some things, but still innocent and willing to bravely step forward, relying on its own strength and knowledge.

Second circle - Lust

Before you have reached your artistic path, have you ever instinctively tried different fields that did not appeal to you, just for the sake of it? Are you still in search for your art style?

I have dabbled quite a bit in various things. I studied animation for a few years, but as I started college, I kind of grew away from it. Around that time I also was a seamstress.. I started few different lines of handmade fashion, first for humans, and then for ball jointed dolls. I have also done cartoony digital art and character lines that I made into printed products (greeting cards, stickers and other stationery). For a few years, I also did professional voice over work (cartoon characters, commercials, etc)... No matter what I’ve done, I have always come back to the art you see now as PeeMonster; though I can go back to any of my past endeavors as needed in my life... Such as recording additional lines for ongoing voice over projects and designing and printing a full set of custom toony cards for my daughter’s school valentines (her middle name is Valentine, that’s why!). I can also do “seamless” alterations for my family when clothes don’t fit properly!

Third circle - Gluttony

How hungry are you for the art, for your passion? How much are you addicted and addicted to it, moving away from your perception of reality?

This is really hard to answer myself, maybe someone who observes me is the better judge of that! But I can say that my difficulties with certain things like socializing and emotions and what not always lead me to my art. When I retreat into my art, I can escape all those things. When I can’t escape into my art, it’s not as easy for me to handle life situations. My art makes me feel in control, and I feel protected and safe when I can hide there if I feel vulnerable or have to avoid depression and confusion. When I feel like I’m doing everything wrong outside, in my art I feel like I can do something right because no one can tell me it’s wrong. So I feel like I’m doing my best on this planet when I can do art (that, and parenting). Some people might look at this and make judgements (too antisocial, too introverted, etc), but I think they also need to understand that I came out of eight years of alcoholism, replacing my desire to drink with the comfort of my health and my art world. It’s the glue that holds me together now when I can’t cope with the open wound of “reality”.

Fourth circle - Greed

Sometimes, do you feel greedy with your job? Do you think that a strong attachment to money can compromise your art? No intention to offend, but only to explore what goes beyond being a "starving artist".

The only reason I accept money is for the sake of providing a living. I suppose I’ve had a terrible habit of not even asking “enough” to do that. Once my partner got involved, upon seeing my numbers, his jaw dropped, as many times I’d spend hours and hours, even weeks on a piece, pay to frame it and ship it to a gallery, only to have it sell with the gallery taking 40% of the sale of the art… When it came down to it often I made only pennies on the dollar in profit, if not going into the negative entirely. That’s something I’ve been trying not to do anymore... I can’t afford to do it that way anymore. He also pointed out that if I divide by the hour I put into a piece, I am often only asking 1 or 2 dollars per hour, essentially, which is far less than the state minimum wage... Inhumanely so (and that is BEFORE we factor in the cost of framing and the gallery’s 30 to 50% cut)... I’ve never been great with numbers in ANY setting because I have a hard time seeing numbers “in 3D”, if that makes sense. So having the help of my partner allows me to see numbers (time, cost, etc) from a perspective that I can understand. I don’t at all see it as greed... If this is what I want to be able to do for a living, I will have to also be able price them accordingly. But of course, for me, that means making sure I am pushing myself and evolving and creating quality work I can stand behind with those prices listed alongside them.

Fifth circle - Anger

How you see the Art World today? There are some stuff that make you uncomfortable?

I’m not sure. I try not to judge, because I’m a bit of a transplant myself; I was never formally taught and was not really “aware” of the art world when I first started pursuing fine art. I just did what was fun to me and that was pencil and drawing how I felt. It was only years into it that I realized there was a whole “world” out there of fine artists, an entire world of art history that I knew nothing about, etc. I try not to get angry at things I can’t change, I just try and learn and evolve on my own journey for the better. I stick to what I believe in.

Sixth circle - Heresy

Have you ever done a project or commission totally different from your kind of art? (for example, as fairy art, erotic art, fantasy art or comic art)

I try not to do that. I am extremely selective over what kinds of commissions I will take at this time, because I just need to allow myself some degree of freedom in my work to be happy. I’m also now very cautious with what I share in my work, because I choose what I will put out in the world. I was not always this cautious starting out... But now, I think there’s an even greater challenge in finding other ways to express and being able to dictate the messages being put out there with my energy in them. I try to hold myself accountable, and I actually quite enjoy taking up the challenge of creating something new instead of rehashing and repeating themes that people have come to expect to see in the subconscious “art world” blanket. I want to create my own patterns.

Seventh circle - Violence

Are you afraid to represent cruel stuff of the reality in your art? If not, it goes beyond the simple visual impact?

I did depict violence in my early years to communicate what I myself was feeling (stress, pain, hopelessness, etc)... But now, I do not depict any violence without true reason or context. Like I said before, I think it’s harder to NOT draw a person being sliced to pieces to share an emotion. There is a challenge in communicating that stress without being obscene or needlessly graphic in the art. I love the challenge of communicating feelings, be they good or bad without being brash (I also just don’t want to see people get hurt).

Eighth circle - Fraud

Without naming, have you ever been deceived by a false customer or company? What was your initial feeling? Do you want to give some advice to those who are new in this field? Don't worry if you do not want to answer.

I don’t think so... My advice is to try and be understanding an investigate why something happened or why someone did something before jumping to conclusions and openly attacking them. We’re all human in the end and we all have weaknesses and struggles... Despite having good intentions (maybe some people might not agree with me on this when it comes to business, but eh) .

Ninth circle - Treachery

Would you ever exchange your life as artist with a safer and quieter life? What would you do if you could not make art?

No, I need my life as an artist to feel safe and be quiet! If I couldn’t make art, I would probably find something else good to do with my time here, share ideas and help others in some way.